Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Joe Biden Enters Presidental Race


Democratic Sen. Joe Biden officially entered the presidential race today. He feels his 34 year Senate career coupled with nine months of unofficial campaigning has prepared him for this moment. Speaking to The Associated Press Biden said, "After nine months of doing this, there is no exploratory committee - I'm running."

Our Washington insider, The Parrot, shook off his hangover from Cheney's birthday party at the Final Drill and met Senator Biden for some breakfast.

P: So a white guy, a black guy, and woman walk into the Democratic Convention... Just kidding, I think I'm still drunk from last night Cheney wouldn't leave the Final Drill. He just kept raving about that oil shower dance, he must have seen it twenty times, Lynne's gonna be pissed.
B: I love the Final Drill, it's the best titty bar in town. Great scotch too.
P: You can say that again. Ok, you've been in the Senate for 34 years so you're obviously not for term limits, but you have done something out of the ordinary for a presidential candidate. You've proposed a plan for ending our involvement in Bush war II.
B: Yes Parrot, I have a radical philosophy that government should be about ideas. Yeah, with massive amounts of misdirection and bullshit, but occasionally some understandable communication needs to happen. My war plan can be read at Iraq: A Way Forward.
P: I was really impressed at the fact you put it up front on the home page of your site. You even have a drop down menu for the issues.
B: I've found that in order to get things done and affect change some critical thinking needs to happen. I hope to differentiate myself with ideas.
P: Senator I plan on meeting with you in the future to see how things progress, but for now well played sir.
B: Thank you.
P: Let's celebrate, two of your finest scotches please. Time to bite the dog.
B: Keep'em coming, I got a complimentary Gold AMEX for sponsoring that bankruptcy legislation. Gotta keep the constituent companies happy. You know Delaware is the leading state for credit card and finance companies.
P: Your lucky I'm still drunk so I don't want to get into that right now. I'll just be happy getting free scotch from all the little people who couldn't pay they're bills. Fuck'em, and oh yeah vote for Biden all you Democratic working class poor. Who needs good credit anyway.

The two enjoyed their morning scotches and promised to discuss things further in the future.

Further research:
Joe Biden Homepage
Biden officially running for president

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