Monday, January 22, 2007

Hillary Joins the Race


This past weekend Hillary Clinton announced her intentions to run for President. The move came as no surprise as Hillary herself had commented on many occasions, "I have no intention of running for President." When asked why she announced so soon after Barrack Obama she replied, "My husband worked hard to accomplish many things while he was president. He set the record for most B.J.s received while on the phone with foreign dignitaries, largest gang bang in the oval office, and he stole the coveted title of 'Most Interns Nailed' from JFK. The last thing I need is Long Dong Silver coming in and tarnishing his legacy."

Hillary has been notoriously hard to pin down on the issues, a fact which is underscored by the lack of substance on her website. One can learn more about her personal history than where she stands on the issues. The one thing she has made clear is that it will be a great honor to be the first President to have her box munched in the White House. "I know Bill is proud of what he did while President, but to be honest it was a little embarrassing. I have waited 8 long years for a chance at payback." She has even considered installing web cams to capture the long awaited revenge, but has given no final word yet.

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