Saturday, February 3, 2007

Giant Mansions: Edwards America - 1 The other America - 0

John Edwards recently moved into the largest home in Orange County North Carolina. It's 28,200 sq feet and sits on a 102 acre lot.

The Parrot was on hand for the house warming party and had a chance to speak with Mr. Edwards about his new abode.

P: This is a beautiful home as was your last one what prompted the move?
E: As you know I'll be running for president in 08 and there's nothing to make one look more presidential than chopping wood at a ranch. In fact, Parrot, please refer to this as my ranch from now on.
P: Ok sir, the four story tower is a unique touch.
E: Yeah, Cheney's secret shadow government will still be running the country after we win so he requested we build a shooting tower for when he comes to visit. He plans on using it to shoot insurgents, enemy combatants and lawyers. I have to admit the last one scares me a bit, but as Bush said he's a half glass full kind of guy so I don't anticipate any problems. Oh yeah, we're also considering putting an oil well in back for Cheney to play in.
P: That's wonderful and all, but can you show me where you keep the scotch?
E: Sure, I'll have one of my servants from the other America fix a couple.
P: Superb, I love living in this America, it's so much more fun than the other one.
E: Yeah I know, people caught up in the poor America are fucken suckers. The beauty is since they're so screwed all I have to do is act like I'll provide impossible stuff to get their vote. For instance, affordable health care by subsidizing purchases with government funds. All the while making them more and more dependant on my government. (evil laugh insues)

It went on from there with the Parrot and Mr. Edwards getting hammered on scotch while they were waited on by the other America.

Further research:
Edwards Home County's Largest

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